Leaving for Czech Monday, August 23rd!!

Moje Milujici Rodina,

I will probably be sending a few things home sometime this week. Anything you send needs to be sent SOON however (today or tomorrow probably)--mail doesn't come on Saturday afternoons or Sundays and we leave on MONDAY! YES, MONDAY!! Can you believe this? (Probably not because your last Dear Elder had a departure date of 8/30 on it...) So yes, 6 MORE DAYSSSSSSSSSS. DUN DUN DUNNNNNN.

wE RECEIVED OUR FLIGHT PLANS ON fRIDAY (HAHA--HOW FUNNY WOULD IT BE IF i FOREVER LEFT THE CAPS LOCK ON?). Here's the plan: we will arrive at the Salt Lake City airport around 6 or so and our flight leaves at 8 or 8:30. This is when I will be calling you (hopefully). I know it's early, but it'll be more difficult to call at the airport in New York, which is also where I'll have to say goodbye to my beloved Sister Stratton. I'm just planning on calling the home phone because that's the only number I can remember right now--write me soon and let me know if I should use a different one. PLEEEEASE wake up and answer. Please! From NY we fly directly to Prague. A lot of air time, but I think we'll make it. I'm not too worried about it--we talked about our travel plans in district meeting on Sunday and I realized that I feel very safe in the hands of those three 19 year-old boys I'll be traveling with. It's funny how closely 14 hours/day for 8 weeks brings you together. A few things: in the Czech Republic I will probably only get snail mail once a month or so, unless I'm serving in Prague--all mail goes to the mission home and is then delivered at zone conferences. So you can email me every week instead and I will probably have more time to email.

Enough of the boring business stuff and on to the adventures! This week has been an interesting one, that's for sure. I told you last week that Sister Stratton was having a rough time--little did I know that later that day we'd find out that Elder Meiling was too. Apparently he has some blood issues--his trygliceride levels are in the 500s! It's so strange because he appears so normal and healthy. He's been on some medication for it, but we found out last Tuesday that the meds haven't been working. Right after I sat in on a beautiful blessing of comfort given to Sister Stratton, my three elders stormed in to the room where I was studying, somewhat emotional, and gave Elder Meiling a priesthood blessing. In it, the Lord promised Elder Meiling three times that he had work to do in the Czech Republic, but He never guaranteed that he would leave with the rest of us to get there. It was incredible to witness both those blessings back to back. Time and time again I am struck by the notion that the Lord really wants to raise powerful, capable children. He gives these little elders the ability to work miracles, and when that happens they, more often than not, live up to the responsibilities that it entails. It seems that the health issues are all going to work out for Elder Meiling, although we discovered yesterday that he's the only one who doesn't have his visa yet...there's still time for it to come before we leave. Whatever happens, it's all in the Lord's hands. He's taking it all in stride.

For some reason, Sister Stratton and I were nominated by our teachers to be exemplary missionaries and demonstrate to the incoming missionaries tomorrow "How to Begin Teaching" (it's a section in Preach My Gospel). It was really surprising, but it's a principle I'm really coming to appreciate. It's all about learning more about those we teach and creating a spiritual atmosphere right from the beginning. It's so great to teach with Sister Stratton again--it's like coming home after teaching with BOYS (ack) all the time. I hope that we can do well enough to impress upon the new missionaries the ideas. You should read it sometime, if you'd like--apparently the bullet points in the sections are ones that President Packer wrote down in the middle of the night after feeling impressed to, and then presented to the board that was putting together Preach My Gospel. The more I read it, the more I see the benefits of it.

I'm starting to feel really eager to get out into the field. Sometimes I'm slightly nervous--who wants to be the useless new missionary who can't understand anything? I was able to spend a good chunk of time speaking in Czech with my favorite teacher, Brother Rowberry, yesterday while the elders were at a doctor's appointment for Elder Meiling. It was so fun to understand what he was saying and stop him and ask questions about words and grammar and such. He, who happens to be an AMAZING speaker--he really pushes us with the language--told me that he thought the Lord had blessed me with the gift of tongues--that he'd seen it in the field and he saw it in me and that I was going to do well. He doesn't throw compliments away, so this meant a lot to me. But it's hard to not feel nervous at all--I think it's just a normal part of life and adventuring, being nervous. But I'm okay with that. Along with the nervousness comes the wonderful anticipation and the hopes and dreams for those I will meet and teach. It's a package deal, I suppose.

I love you all and I think about you all the time. We prayed for Danielle's soccer tryouts--that's why she made it. :) Kidding. Sort of--I knew she would. Talk to you soooooooooon!

Sestra Dean

Two More Weeks!!

Moje Drahy Rodino,

Fun fact: "drahy" means both "dear" and "expensive" in Czech--sometimes, when I'm addressing my letters to you, it makes me think of how valuable and classy you are. Isn't it interesting to look at the meanings that other cultures tend to combine into one idea? I remember in an anthropology class talking about how an Eskimo language included upwards of 20 different words for snow. I thought it silly at first, but really--dirty snow is very different from white snow, and fluffy snow is nothing like icy snow. I love learning about the way other people think. For example: around Christmas in the Czech Republic, Czechs eat carp and potato salad. Every year someone dies from choking on a carp bone (don't worry Ma, I'll avoid that). And, around December 6th Miculas (St. Nicholas) walks all over town with his sidekicks Angel and Devil. They greet little kids and ask them if they've been good--if they have, they'll recite a poem and the angel gives them a sweet and some approving look, I'm sure. If they haven't been good, however, the devil opens up his knapsack and uses it to transport their souls to Hell. Neat, huh? Also, on Christmas there is no Santa to bring them gifts--Jezicek, or "Little Jesus" does instead. I wonder what kind of gifts little Jesus would bring to a country that is 80% atheist--? He's almost become a fairytale to them, it seems.

Anyway. There has been a fragile atmosphere around these parts as of late. The earth won't stop crying, which is comforting in some ways because Sister Stratton and I have been feeling somewhat fragile. I had a terribly real dream Saturday night about Dad and Mom splitting up and woke up crying around 3:45 in the morning. I finally fell back asleep, but woke up with embarrassing swollen eyes--doubly embarrassing because it wasn't even real and there's no way it ever would be. But you know what embarrassing, swollen eyes do to the rest of the day--I just felt all silly and buggy. Until the rain started up and I felt that I had someone to cry with. The beautiful part is, however, that, when I awoke, I was able to feel confident that my parents have solid testimonies and they love each other and the Lord and, because of that, they will do whatever it takes to keep the family together forever and happy forever.

It has been a fragile morning for Sister Stratton. We went and did sealings at the temple, which were amazing. It's such a powerful ordinance, and yet, the people administering the ordinances were so happy and comfortable. Initially I thought that maybe that was somewhat irreverent. But I realized that the ordinances are just as sacred as life in general is. That IS life. It's real work involving real people--why shouldn't we be cheerful? Anyway, there was a woman doing sealings with us who looked like she had undergone chemo--she was in bad shape and I had a difficult time telling whether the man with her was her son or her husband. Sister Stratton's Aunt Betty has cancer--the chemo wasn't working, so she's stopped doing it. Sister Stratton's having a difficult time with it. Will you pray for her and her aunt Betty? She could really use all the peace and comfort and strength that your prayers can give her. I just love her so much and I wish there was more that I could do for her.

Sorry to be a Debbie Downer! Really, life is just great. We have TWO WEEKS left! Can you believe it?! Last Thursday we taught the 1st lesson in Czech again. It was incredible! Really! And I don't say that to brag of myself--it was definitely not my doing. Yes, I prepared as well as I could, but I think the real difference came when my companion (Elder Bracken) and I decided that we wanted to make our focus understanding our investigators. So we did that--we figured out what was important to them--they were a newly wed couple--and we tied everything back into their marriage and how, because of God's love and plan for them, they can be together forever. The spirit was so powerful and our words didn't get in the way of the overwhelming feelings of unutterable joy. For the first time, I could really see myself as a missionary in the Czech Republic, teaching people about God's plan for them, about who they really are. I am beginning to understand how God gets His work done. It's astounding, really, that little 19 and 21-year-olds can saunter half way around the world with two months of language classes under their belts and bring salvation and eternal joy to people. WOO! I LOVE BEING A MISSIONARY!! Also: the "investigators" we taught just so happened to be the girl that I had been emailing back and forth about the Czech Republic before I came to the MTC (Jessica Roylance) and her new husband! It was so great to finally meet her--we just embraced like old friends. Don't you just love new friends that automatically feel like old friends?

Something I've been thinking about a bit: I always think of you and the ------- family whenever I learn some great missionary tactic. Last week we talked about asking questions that encourage the investigators to bear their testimonies or say some truth, which will enable them to feel the spirit as they speak truth. Such as, "how do you think your family could benefit from the principles of the gospel?" etc. Things like that my help them realize how much they really do love the restored gospel.

I love you all so much! In 2 WEEKS you'll be getting a phone call from meeeeeee! Weeeeeeeee!

Na shle!

Sestra Dean

The Best Days of My Life

Dobry den! Man, I just love you so much! I must say, the Adam's and the High Five Fiber bread was BOMB! (v cesky: 'to je bomba!' Literally means, 'it's the bomb!' And they really really say that there. Neat.) Seriously. Sestra Stratton and I had a major feast in the Forbidden Forest. With the vittals you've sent and her family's sent, we are the happiest eaters in the MTC. Mainly because everyone else is suffering from either diarrhea or constipation. I also received the pillow case from Sister Carter! Oh MY, it is the cutest thing I've ever seen! I immediately put it to good use and have been sleeping with visions of 5 year-olds dancing in my head ever since. Tell Sister Carter that they should expect a letter from me soon.

It's interesting that you brought up disappointing missionaries. You'd never guess it, but the MTC is full of them. It's understandable though--leaving the world behind is a difficult thing to do. Many people come here thinking they can have one foot in Babylon and another in Zion. But that makes for pulled groins and/or torn breeches, which is no fun for anyone. I hope that several of the missionaries in my district will have the opportunity to really dedicate themselves to the work as their missions move forward. The most difficult thing is when there are two lackadaisical missionaries paired together...they have no idea how much their combined efforts can impact all those around them. But just pray for the missionaries in your area--your prayers really can help them! Just think of Alma! And Nephi! And a million other people in the Book of Mormon! The Lord had those stories written time and time again so that we would be able to trust that he really will consecrate our prayers for the benefit of others. Isn't it beautiful? The Book of Mormon is like a little piece of all the things that are in God's heart. A piece of His heart that we can carry around with us and take out and look at whenever we please. And the more we look into His heart, the more our hearts begin to reflect the things in His. Awesome.

So, we taught our first lesson in Czech last week. It went surprisingly well. The most interesting part was that the "investigators" told our teacher afterward that we made an excellent team--this is the Elder that I've been having difficulty getting along with. But we both want the same things and we've been making a point of becoming a unified companionship as of late. I suppose God is blessing our efforts. It wasn't super eventful, other than the fact that I began the lesson by asking them if we could "end" with a prayer. They were a little surprised, but we quickly cleared up the misunderstanding. And later, during the lesson, Elder Bracken was throwing "the sign" (we made up a 'subtle' sign that we could use if we ever felt prompted to say something during the lesson while the other was talking...that way we could wrap up our words and transition nicely without interrupting each other and without overriding the Spirit) like crazy, but he wasn't throwing it within my peripheral vision, so I didn't see it at all...but one of the investigators did, apparently, and got a very funny look on his face about it. So what, we're amateurs. :)

I've learned some pretty interesting things about the Czech Republic lately. Mostly because the 3 Elders in my class all have leadership positions, which means they are gone on Wednesday and Thursday nights for meetings and I am left alone with the same teacher, Brother Rowberry, who is really my age, which usually isn't weird. But he's told me all sorts of neat things about the Czech Republic. Everything really is like a fairytale there. Seriously, like the average citizen has a special plot of land in the forest where they search for wild mushrooms to eat. And they all know the various kinds of mushrooms and which ones are okay to eat. Thus, I now have a secret ambition to go mushroom hunting with a member some p-day.
Also, instead of saying weird angry phrases like "Jiminy Christmas!" or "Doggone it!", they say "Hrom do police!" which means, "Thunder to the shelves!" Go figure.

It's weird, lots of people that I've grown to love here are starting to leave for the field. Three weeks. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I've decided that I will be happy, no matter what. Sestra Stratton and I have made a pact that we will make our last 23 (now 21) days together THE BEST DAYS OF OUR LIVES. Thus, we often shout out to each other "THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIIIIIIIFE!"--much to the dismay of our fellow districtmen, who can't figure out how every day happens to be the best day of our lives. But we're still loving it.

Anyway...family, I just love you so much. I can't even believe that Michelle has a phone now. She's so big! A few of my Elders heard it was her birthday and drew her Peter Pan pictures, so make sure she writes them back. I'm really glad about the work increasing--I've been praying for you. I think about you all all the time. I feel your strength here with me. Keep up the great missionary work! I'm so proud of you all!

Miluji vas!

Sestra Dean

Never a Dull Moment

Moje Drahy Rodina,

Heyyyy! (In Czech one would say 'hela' instead of 'hey', but that sounds like cursing....so I won't. Today.)

GOOD NEWS! (Better than no nylons...by the way Ma, I would shave more than once a week if there were anything on my legs to shave off anymore. I think that cutting back on shaving before coming on the mission was a major blessing in disguise because now it hardly seems to grow... who cares how many gag-reflexes I may have triggered.)
The temple opened today! Finally! I almost forgot how different it feels there. I mean, always knew it was, but today I really FELT it again, which was just incredible. I wish I could have stayed there alllllll daaaaaayyyyyy. But instead I get to do laundry. That is something I may never fully appreciate. Maybe if they started to make laundry detergent a little more exciting--they way cereal is, with little shaped and colored surprises--then maybe it'd be more interesting and less stifling. They could even offer little toys if you collect enough Tide box tops. Jejda! Anyways, the temple was SO good and SO enlightening that I forgot to zip up my skirt when I came out of the dressing room! I had no idea all throughout breakfast (we ate in the cafeteria there) until one of the Elders got all nervous and started whispering "Sister Dean! Sister Dean!" The poor poor missionary--a few weeks ago my companion accidentally tucked her skirt into her garments while in the bathroom...and then she bent over to try and stretch her back...and it was this very same missionary who happened to notice her entire back side. AH! I may have a hernia if I laugh much more here--the MTC is just too much fun.

This week marks the end of week number FIVE! Whoa! It's weird--suddenly all these individuals I've become friends with are leaving the MTC and I'm starting to realize how fleeting this time is here. Some missionaries seem so anxious to leave the MTC, but I've been so blessed here. I might cry myself to sleep the first night I don't get to stare up at Sestra Stratton's saggy mattress and know that, whatever happens, she's sleeping above me.
This week we are teaching the 1st discussion in CZECH--that's right! No more English at the TRC/TE/whatever it's called. This means that Sestra Stratton and I aren't teaching together anymore--that I'm teaching with an Elder now (Elder Bracken, if you want to find him in the pictures--AKA: Neville Longbottom). It's a little different, but he's a good missionary and he's very determined to learn the language, so I think it'll go well.
Lately I've been very impressed with the Lord's willingness to help us. Over and over again, I find myself reading of His promises to grant us whatever it is that we ask for that is right. I love how in 2 Nephi 33:3-4 Nephi bears his testimony that the Lord will not only help us, but he will consecrate our prayers for the well being of those we pray for. Woo! We're so so loved and watched out for! Thus, your prayers really mean a lot to me--to all of us missionaries here. We need them and so do investigators.
Speaking of investigators--the -------- family! I wish you could be here, learning the things that I'm learning about helping others come unto Christ. What it all comes down to is that you need to first figure out what is important to them/what their needs are, then you must show how the gospel will help that specific aspect of their lives and then testify of how it's blessed you and promise them blessings if they take actions. It sounds so easy, but it definitely takes a lot of listening and making yourself receptive to the Lord.
AH! I'm almost out of time! Sorry--Dekuji vas moc!

Sestra Dean

I Love the MTC!

Another p day is nearly gone! It's so weird how quickly each week goes by--I know this is only the preparation for the real thing, but it already seems as though there will never be anything else.

Can I just say that I love the MTC? (Everyone makes fun of me here because apparently I use the phrase "can I just say..." a LOT. Did I say that before?! Once I caught myself saying it in a personal prayer...maybe that's when I know it's gone too far.) One of my favorite things about the MTC is Thursdays. For a few reasons. 1) Thursday means that GYM time is right after breakfast, so Sestra Stratton and I can get really sweaty all at once in the morning and we don't have to spend all of GYM time making sure our internal body temperatures are low enough to keep us from sweating. We're pretty dedicated about running every morning. Somehow I've become the health/nutrition guru of our district. Probably because everyone else just eats doughnuts all the time and I don't. 2) Thursdays involve Large Group Meetings, which we attend with many other districts (hence, we become a LARGE GROUP). These are always taught by former missionaries and they do a great job of refocusing me--they help me realize that the MTC isn't about learning a new language or about memorizing scriptures, but it's about teaching individuals the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. It's about finding and teaching these individuals. I love it. 4) TE!! Woo! I LOVE this place! The TE stands for "Teaching Experience"...or something. This name is actually in the process of being changed, so it's known by many names. But each week we're given tasks that involve learning how to do different things in our language. Then we come to the TE and RMs from our missions will speak to us and pretend to be investigators while we teach them important principles, ask them if they kept commitments, etc. It's great because it's then that I realize how much I've learned. It's SO exciting to suddenly realize that I can carry on a sort of conversation in this crazy language! Last TE, we were supposed to follow up with a commitment regarding reading the Book of Mormon with our "investigators", however my clever little guys began asking me about baptism and why it was important...I'm sure they were laughing their heads off inside. It went over pretty well, until they asked me if sprinkling was okay to do, and I had no idea how to say 'immersion'....so I settled for body (telo), everything (vsechno) and water (voda). They got the basic idea. Then, after we speak in Czech, we get to teach the fake investigators one of the lessons. This week will be our last time to practice teaching in English. I find myself very very envious of those missionaries who only speak English. I feel like that would be wonderful. I love teaching with Sister Stratton--we make a pretty good team and we've learned the importance of following the spirit together. After this week, however, we will begin teaching the first lesson in our respective languages, which means that she will be teaching in Croatian and I will be stuck teaching with a BOY. Ack. Just kidding, they're great. But I'll miss teaching with her strength at my side. All the while we're teaching, our teachers get to watch us on video. AFterwards, they tell us all the things we did well and give us prods in the right direction. It's pretty fun.
And THAT is why I love Thursdays.

Are Thursdays very exciting for you? I heard about Dad's car accident....was that on a Thursday? And about work being slow . . . it kind of makes me wonder what you've been praying for though...I've definitely learned here that, when you pray and ask God for help in developing a certain trait (i.e. charity, patience, humility, etc.), He has this way of ALWAYS giving you trying experiences in which you can practice exercising what little of that trait you already do have. And this is how it grows. For example: there is an elder in my class that I've been struggling to love. I mean, I DO love him, but we always tend to disagree about EVERYTHING. And of course I'm always the one in the right, so he's the one that needs to change. (Kidding.) But he tends to pick on the other Elders and then my mother bear instincts kick in and I end up verbally kicking him. Which is not very Christlike. So I've been praying for help. And lo and behold, what should the Lord do except inspire my teachers to rearrange our desks so that I am sitting RIGHT NEXT to him. ALWAYS. For 11 hours of class time nearly every day of the week. What can we do but laugh, right? God knows what's up. Hopefully you've been able to see good come out of all this mess. I'm always praying for you.

And I'm praying for the --------- family! Woo! Way to go fam! And ward! One thing I've learned here: people's testimonies only grow when they use their agency to do something to bring them closer to God--choosing to read, pray, attend church, etc. If there's anything you can do for them, help them help themselves. I'm glad that you're back in the missionary work Dad--I want to hear all about that video you're thinking of making! It's bound to touch people in the ward and help them touch those around them. Man, missionary work is the greatest, isn't it?

Also--GREAT news! They've nixed pantyhose for sister missionaries! For real! Well, they're no longer required. But they stressed still looking professional, so I decided that I would sacrifice and shave my legs at least once a week. For the Lord. (I wouldn't shave for any other reason). But it's incredible what bare legs will do for a person after wearing pantyhose every day for so long. I automatically feel younger, hotter, slimmer, stronger, happier. Take that, 20th century! Your pantyhose are a thing of the past! (Except for on Sundays and at devotionals). This is the most exciting thing since sliced bread. Except sliced bread means it's processed bread, usually. Anyway.

Miluje vam HODNE! Really!

Sestra Dean

God Loves His Children

Whoa. I have sold my soul to the Son of Man and given away my belongings in the process. It is Monday morning (early--maybe around 3 or 4 a.m) and I am writing a rough draft of this email in my journal. I am doing this because I have a story for you. I can't not tell you (we just learned about double negatives in Czech--sorry, I guess it's going to my head) because I feel compelled to. There's a big balloony feeling in my chest that's wonderful, and just uncomfortable enough that I must do something about it. So, here I am, just doing . . .

There is another Sister living in my room. Her name is Sister ------. She is going to the Utah St. George mission. She should have left last week with the rest of her group, but she is having some difficulties I don't know much about. She is something of an odd ball. As we were creating our Harry Potter world, Sister Stratton and I named her Moaning Myrtle (this is very unChristlike, I am all too aware). She sometimes likes to be a martyr. Once she watched us play volleyball from a balcony above during gym. We caught her eye and invited her to come play (well, this was mostly Sister Stratton--she's great), quite enthusiastically, if I do say so myself. Sister ------ declined and remained up there alone. Later she told us she didn't want to play because she was feeling lonely. Go figure.
Sister ------- is a convert--was baptized in April of 2007. She's not particularly attractive or amiable. She doesn't seem like she would make much of a missionary because she is always napping. She tends to disclose very personal facts very openly. But I know the Lord loves her. The is how I know:
On Wednesday, Sister Stratton and I found ourselves in some sort of funk. We didn't quite feel like representatives of Christ. Largely because we were too caught up in ourselves. This we openly admitted. I found myself, I am ashamed to say, enjoying being the "trendy" Sister missionary. I wore both the sweater you sent me and the shirt Beks gave me and had little room in me for much other than vain thoughts when I did. Sis Stratton had similar feelings about things. But this was not why we came to be missionaries!
Sister Stratton talked of the Anti-Nephi-Lehis and how they buried the things that were keeping them from the Lord. We decided to do the same, or something similar. So we found a box and put some of our "great and spacious building" possessions in it. She put in her eyeshadow. I put in some headbands and a hair clip that seemed to attract too much attention from other Sister missionaries (the Elders never care, of course). I felt okay about this.
Later that night, as I prayed, I knew it wasn't enough. I fought an inner battle with my own vanity and finally put that birthday sweater in the box. I tried to do this discreetly so I wouldn't have to explain myself to anyone. I prayed longer and felt that I should add Bekah's gift(a shirt)to the box too. This I fought for a while--it seemed so stupid! Other missionaries were just fine with their own cute clothes--the branch president's wife had even told me she liked it! It was definitely not against the rules.
Suddenly I realized my own ridiculous vanity and pride. When the lights went out, I quickly grabbed the shirt and threw it on top of the dresser where we'd stowed the box before I could think about it much longer. I didn't feel great yet. I kind of felt that I wouldn't be completely over it unless I gave it all away somehow. This was an unappealing idea, to say the least. The thought crossed my mind to give them to Sister -------. It was a stupid idea--they wouldn't fit her anyway.
The next day began my and Sister Stratton's Book of Mormon challenge. Because of a very inspirational Large Group Meeting, we decided that reading the Book of Mormon all the way through before we left the MTC would really help us become the representatives of Christ we wanted to be. This has been going on for several days now.
Saturday night I felt myself getting sick. Blech. I didn't sleep so well that night. Lack of sleep and sickness put me in what I'd like to call a "fragile state". Fragile to emotions and fragile to the Spirit. The cold was annoying, but only hindered the day mildly. The Spirit was there. It was Sunday. Good feelings grew and culminated throughout to a very grand high during a fireside by the celebrated violinist Jenny Oaks Baker (Dallin H. Oaks' daughter). We stayed afterward for a film they were showing. It's peculiar, because before the fireside a screen displayed the four films one could attend at various locations afterward. After the fireside, the options changed. Three of the new four options I had already seen recently. So we watched part three of a documentary following missionaries in California. It's almost my new favorite movie. At one point, a Hispanic woman investigating the Church describes how she feels the Spirit--like there's something far too big inside her chest, pulling and stretching to come out. But a very good feeling. This was how I have always felt the Spirit. Exactly.
Scene.
I tried to sleep last night, but the cold kept me awake. I had dreamt that I kept pulling things out of my nose, only to wake and find I'd been sleeping with a tissue up there. I was so tired and angry and ill, and I prayed a frustrated prayer, took the only nasal decongestants I had (non drowsy!), blew my nose, and tried to sleep again. Every time I laid my head down, my nose completely plugged up so that breathing was not an option. It's like the Lord was playing that trick on me that younger siblings sometimes do in movies--pinching my nose while I'm sleeping so I'd have to wake up (or die). Finally I got out of bed, grabbed my scriptures and begrudgingly began to work on our Book of Mormon goal in the lobby.
"Get a pen". That's what He told me. I ignored it sulkily and read on until the thought came quite clearly to me: "Ashley, I need to talk to you. Go get something to write with." So I did. I opened my journal and began reading 1 Nephi again. I was led to Jeremiah 7: 23-24. ["But this thing commanded I them, saying, 'Obey my voice, and I will be your God, and ye shall be my people: and walk ye in all the ways that I have commanded you, that it may be well unto you. But they hearkened not, nor inclined their ear, but walked in the counsels and in the imagination of their evil heart, and went backward, and not forward".] I felt the Lord was trying to tell me something, but I was all mean emptiness inside, so I began to write about that. And my thoughts were taken to Sister ------ and my box of things I'd sacrificed again. And that very feeling the woman had described in the video came to me (it was unmistakeable, now that someone else had described it just so). I was overcome by the Lord's love for Sister ------- and His need for her out in the field.
Instantly, a thousand things came to my memory at once--how the film had been changed last minute so I could hear that exact description of feeling the Spirit, the calculated timing of our Book of Mormon goal and our Anti-Nephi-Lehi sacrifices, the crazy thought that I'd had to offer Sister ------- my sacrifices. I remembered the blessing Grandpa Bellows had given me--that my health would be good according to my obedience. I ignored that first feeling, and now the Lord had used my health to wake me up!
I gave Sister ------- the clothes. And my favorite locket of Ma's that I always wear. (Sorry. I needed to). Just after that, Sister ------ found out she was getting sent home to sort things out.
I just thought it incredible that the Lord would alter MY life so severely in order to tell Sister ------ she's loved. You should have seen her face when she tried on the clothes. She told me she'd wear the necklace every day. I can't believe how much that mattered to her.
I'm so full of the Spirit right now I could throw it up.
THE LORD LOVES HIS CHILDREN. He will go to GREAT lengths to tell them that. I don't have any time left, but I just had to tell you. I love you SOOOOOO much.

Ash

Message from Hogwarts

Dearest family of mine,

THANK YOU for the wonderful birthday package! It was perfect! (Although everyone looks like an Egyptian princess in the family photo because of the way our eyes are edited....but I put it up on my shelf for all to see anyway. I kind of have a thing for Egyptian princesses.)

Yesterday morning my awesome companion and I took Ma's homemade granola and milk and bowls and some Einstein's bagels that Sestra Stratton received in the mail (she is probably the most popular person I know) into the Forbidden Forest and ate our breakfast after a healthy morning run. It was perfect. And then we discussed all the similarities between the MTC and Hogwarts--there are lots. In all seriousness though, I am loving my days here. I love the challenge the language provides and the depth that teaching brings to my soul. I find that, when I begin teaching a lesson about my God, my Savior, the Restoration, I am really looking into the hearts of whomever I am teaching. Usually, they're just teachers or Elders pretending to be investigators, but it's easy to forget that they're pretending. Because as soon as we begin talking about the truth, the feelings are real and it's impossible to misunderstand exactly how God feels about the person in front of me. The Spirit never pretends and it cannot be forced. But when it comes (usually when we testify), it is an overwhelming inner raucous of compassion--only a small semblence of the ferocity and intensity with which the Lord loves His children. Sometimes it's so strong that I'm afraid I'll need acupuncture to keep my heart from swelling, which would be messy. I just can't get over how great it is.

Also, I am loving cesky. It's difficult, but the way it stretches me is a bikram yoga, simultaneously-finding-and-pushing-oneself sort of pull. (Speaking of which, the exercise class this morning was YOGA. LOVED IT!) I've been able to spend a bit of time just speaking cesky with some fluent returned missionaries for the past few days--it's horrifying and exciting all at once to be forced to think on my feet and construct my own sentences with the limited knowledge that I have. It almost makes me feel as though I'm back in Romania again. (I often accidentally say things in Romanian instead of cesky, although this is getting less and less common.) It's incredible how quickly one learns things here. But I suppose that's the point of sitting in classes for 11+ hours a day.

The food here's not so bad. I've become the queen of making special requests of the cafeteria staff, but they are all very kind and accommodating. But really, potato pearls and gravy, with a side of SPAM?? If only Daddio were here.

It's so funny how the MTC begins to feel like a small university campus of sorts. You always run in to friends and we're always making new ones. I've run into Ben Miles several times (he teaches Romanian) and Marky's been my substitute teacher twice. Sometimes I find myself walking around and being surprised at the faces that I don't recognize. But I like it--there are so many interesting people to meet. I.e., there's an elder going to Czech with me that I want Danielle to marry. He's so cute and adorable and nice and he plays soccer and he's very musically talented and I just think they could love each other. I've already talked to him about it--I think I can convince him the age isn't that big of a deal.

I have three minutes left. I LOVE YOU ALL! Ma, I loved your letter. I'm so sorry that things have been hard on you with Pippen and all. Just remember: all dogs go to heaven. And tell Michelle that I will e-spank her if she doesn't start running with you more. (Also--I happened to see Beks on my temple walk on Sunday. She's going to buy me some brown flats and I just told her you'd give her my money. I hope that's okay. Really though, they're essential.)

Na shledanou! Hesky den!

Sestra Dean